Lesson 33: Couple/Partner Relationships Pt. 1: Slide 7

Using Cognitive Skills Improves Relationships
- We all:
- Provoke and maintain the exact relationship problems that we complain about
- Feel like victims and tell ourselves the problem is the other person’s fault
- Deny our own role in the conflict because self-examination is painful and we are secretly rewarded by the problem we are complaining about
- Want to maintain our appearance of innocence
- Have far more power than we think to change troubled relationships
- Can change relationships if we stop blaming the other person and focus instead on changing ourselves
Notes:
Pg. 36, Burns, David D., 2008, “Feeling Good Together, The Secret To Making Troubled Relationships Work,” Broadway Books, New York.